Tuesday September 5, 2006

The Final Word: “Burroughs Returns From Grave To Chuckle Violently Edition”

(The media experiment in which we conjoin the headline and last paragraph of each bylined article in the A-section of today's New York Times.)

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G.O.P. Sets Aside Work on Immigration:

Since they will not finish the spending bills on time, Republican leaders will have to push through a stopgap measure to keep the government running through the election. But Republicans do hope to advance some nonsecurity measures. The major legislation on the floor in the House this week is a bill that would ban trading in horses to be slaughtered for human consumption.

Rallies Sound the Drumbeat on Immigration: "Immigration laws aren't broken," said Evert Evertsen, 61, from Harvard, Ill. "The problem is they're just not being enforced."

Developer Said to Cut Size of Brooklyn Project:

"Everyone's going to take credit for something that everyone knew would happen," said an executive who works with Forest City. "For these guys, it's very important."

Officials Slow to Hear Claims of 9/11 Illnesses:

"I think of that every time I come to New York," Dr. Howard said. "Given this betrayal of trust, this lack of being there at the time and all these other things, I don't know. We can try with what we have, but it certainly is a different situation when you do it five years later."

Domestic Security Since 9/11 Is Barely Better, Schumer Says: He gave another failing grade to mass transit security — a particular concern to metropolitan New York — saying that the government spends $9 per passenger on airline security but only 1 cent per mass transit rider.

Afghan Symbol for Change Becomes a Symbol of Failure:

As her car rolled out the center's front gate, Ms. Olomi pulled the burqa over her head and her face disappeared. In Little America in 2006, the former instrument of her oppression was her means of survival.

Up for Re-election, and Backing His Stand on Iraq by Deploying:

And, he closed, "I look forward to a big party when I come back."

Kenya Killings Put Aristocrat in Racial Fire:

The last time a white man was at the center of such a sensational case in Kenya was in 1980, when Frank Sundstrom, an American sailor, killed a prostitute in Mombasa. Mr. Sundstrom pleaded guilty to manslaughter, was fined $70 and let go.

An Online Game, Made in U.S., Seizes the Globe:

"Think about it: I'm a 33-year-old guy with a 9-to-5 job, a wife and a baby on the way," Mr. Pinsky said. "I can't be going out all the time. So what opportunities do I have to not only meet people and make new friends but actually spend time with them on a nightly basis? In WOW I've made, like, 50 new friends, some of whom I've hung out with in person, and they are of all ages and from all over the place. You don't get that sitting on the couch watching TV every night like most people."

Other News

U.N. Expects to Mediate Talks on Captured Israelis:

On Monday a Qatar Airways passenger jet was allowed to land, widening service to Beirut. Lebanon's Middle East Airlines and Royal Jordanian Airline have been conducting limited service.

Sudan Gives African Union an Ultimatum:

"I get paid $90 a day for doing nothing," he said. "What is the point of us being here? We should save the African Union's money and just go back home."

Woods Makes It Look Easy (Too Easy):

"Everything can always be better," Woods said. "This game is fluid. It's always changing, it's always evolving. I could always hit the ball better, chip better, putt better, think better. You can get better tomorrow than you are today."

Leaving Behind the Torn-Jeans Look:

"If it looks like it's made for a 20-year-old," the pamphlet reads, "we don't make it."

Drug Piracy: A Wave of Counterfeit Medicines Washes Over Russia:

"They are either short one ingredient or have added an additional ingredient," he said. "It's really no different from the original."

Reagan Wins Another Vote, to a Place in Congress:

"I think it's time Thomas Starr King be learned about and be able to be a part of the history lessons of kids that come to Sacramento," he said. "And this provides more opportunity to do that."

This Can't Be Love:

"The most intriguing situation would be a mated female that's hungry," Dr. Brown said. "Does she boost her pheromones, not because she needs sperm but because she needs food?"

International

Researcher for Times in China Will Appeal Fraud Conviction:

As it stands, Mr. Zhao would be freed in September 2007, a release date that takes into account the time he has already served. Mr. Guan said an appeal would probably not be heard for another month or so.

Scandals Emerging in Shanghai as Political Season Nears:

Besides weakening the city's national political standing, the pension scandal constitutes a blow to Shanghai's ambition to emerge as China's pre-eminent financial center. As with the suppressed real estate scandal, the reported pension dealings highlight the lack of transparency in a system in which the news media and the courts are subjected to political direction.

British School, Searched in Inquiry, Was Used to Train Police:

Referring to the three incidents, Mr. Blair said: "The global terrorist threat, which is trying to stop these countries getting on their feet or to kill vulnerable, innocent people, like has happened today in Jordan, is aimed to make us lose heart and make us fearful about standing up for what is right. Our response has to be to stand firm."

Gunman Kills British Man and Wounds 6 in Jordan:

Jordan says it has thwarted numerous plots against Jordanian landmarks and government buildings as well as against Western tourists. Last November, Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia took responsibility for the attacks on the three Amman hotels, the deadliest terrorist act in the country's history.

Over U.S. Objections, Israel Approves West Bank Homes:

The maritime blockade continues, however, and is viewed as much more serious by many Lebanese merchants, who complain that their supplies are running short.

National Report

To Give Children an Edge, Au Pairs From China:

"I don't hate it but I don't like it," she offered. "I had pizza yesterday. It's better at home."

Stubborn Wildfire Rages North of Yellowstone:

The wildfire season in Montana is usually over by September but in extremely dry years can extend into November.

Forsaking Politics, Bush Has Low-Key Labor Day:

While Mr. Bush did not dwell on the continuing erosion of manufacturing jobs, he noted Monday that the unemployment rate was 4.7 percent, down from 4.8 percent. "That's a good sign for somebody looking for a job," he said.

White House on Hunt for a Medicare Chief:

Dr. McClellan has been cautious about discussing job plans with outsiders, partly because his predecessor, Thomas A. Scully, was criticized for negotiating jobs with potential employers while still running Medicare. Mr. Scully had received an ethics waiver, but the White House later told agencies they could not grant such waivers unless they consulted the president's lawyers.

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