*Astounding* Review of the Driskill Cafe

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item posted 18:44:38: 05-31-08 by kyle.

I give Virginia Wood's review of the Driskill Hotel Cafe five stars for side-splitting hilarity. It's not often you read a write-up and actually feel *sorry* for the restaurant critic.

Once upon a time, I was a no-account waiter at the truly Hoity Toity Driskill Grill, which is mostly a separate entity from the more informal 1886 Cafe & Bakery which Virginia reviewed. Still, I pitched in and tended bar at the Cafe on a couple of occasions. And Wow, How the Mighty Have Fallen. I see from the review that the Driskill was sold to some out-of-towners.... obviously the wheels have fallen off the place. Here's the first thing you need to do to right the ship, guys: Hire a manager who's local. And hire him or her solely on the basis of one line under the "skills" section of their resume: Can recognize Dale Rice and Virginia Wood on sight.

That's 98 percent of getting a good review in this town. And frankly, any joint with linen tablecloths that can't manage it is a waste of money. I still have my 8x10 glossy of Dale Rice. I bring it with me whenever I'm thinking about trying a new place. I show it to whoever's at the host stand and say, "Do you know who this is?" If the answer is no, I say "Thanks" and go see Jay at Quality Seafood.

I wonder if her waiter was this guy....

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