Dream Cell

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item posted 1:12:23: 10-11-06 by kyle.

The Swiss Army Phone by jlouis, swiped from Worth1000's Stupid Technology 5 contest.

• Cell phone chargers are getting smaller all the time—who's going to make the first one that's actually in the phone, with little flip-out prongs like my charger already has? I'd jump at the added size/weight/bulk of my current charger for the ability to just plug my phone into the wall. And I'm sure the cell geniuses could work out a way to make it even smaller, for like, an added $80. The only reason I can think why this hasn't already happened: I wouldn't have to buy a new charger every time I leave town and forget to pack it. I currently own one phone and three chargers—it's like an even more insidious version of the $40 ink cartridge for a $90 printer ploy. Even if this cost an extra $120, I'd be ahead of the game; time is money.
• Go ahead and put a real pen-light bulb in it. I use the flouresecent glow of my display as a flashlight at least four times a week. Hey, this is almost it, a software solution, and it's only five bucks. Still want a real bulb though.... This idea sucks. I don't want a crappy mini flashlight I have to stick to my phone. This is someone who's excruciatingly close, but has the problem backwards—flashlight in charger (doh!). Though what's neat about it is it's a hand-crank charger, no batteries needed for the flashlight or your phone as long as you've got elbow grease ($22.99). Sounds like something I'd buy for my non-existent daughter when she goes off to college, if cell phones weren't by that time a). Happy Meal prizes, and b). nuclear powered. Ooh, now this is nifty: the cellphone-flashlight-stun gun combo (only $49.95!). Though from what I can tell, it's just a stun gun that looks like a phone. (But see, they put a flashlight in it—this idea has legs!). Can't wait for the first time somebody stuns somebody on an airplane with their cell phone stun gun. And then they ban phones on all flights for a month. And then the security guy makes you call him to make sure you're carrying a real phone....
• Store voicemail on my phone instead of your cell tower. I miss the power of an old answering machine to screen and pick up. An ex calls to discuss how I'm emotionally unavailable, I probably want to remain unavailable. But if she's treed by wolves, by the time I get the little beep, call and punch in, she may already be down a few toes....

• While your at it, give me two hours worth of memory to record my own calls. The NSA's already doing it, but FOIA requests take 20 business days.

Here's hoping somebody at Nokia Skunkworks Googles "Dream Cell" and gets cracking. dream mobile dream cellphone ideal phone perfect phone. I need all this stuff way more than I need to watch a two-inch high episode of Lost. I don't want any credit, just send me a free badass phone.

Speaking of Lost, a Bluetooth keychain that lets me call my phone from my keys and vice versa would be sweet. I can almost always find one or the other.

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11:53:24PM: 07-31-07 says Tommy Jones:			Nice thoughts. You might like my site Inkjet Cartridges
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