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'The Final Word,' Doornail Style
The Morning News has launched its own NYT remix project: The Obit Laureate, wherein "recent Times obituaries—a gong striker, a burger matriarch, a bagpipe virtuoso—are transformed into light verse":
Davis and Trane were hip fellows
Who could make horns and saxophones sing.
Harley had bladders and bellows
Which had rarely conspired to swing.
Trumpets and saxes had made them
Legends of music that's true.
Before Rufus Harley had played 'em
Jazz types thought bagpipes "Kind of Blew."
James A. Van Allen, 91; Detected Radiation Belts
When the Fantastic Four fell to earth
Ben Grimm had inflated in girth;
Sue Storm's stunning looks went and came;
Brother Johnny erupted in flames;
And Reed Richards had turned into rubber.
All because James Van Allen discovered
Belts of actual space radiation
That in comics could cause such mutations
Which is why this professor called 'Van'
Preferred his space missions unmanned.
Ooh... And the Times had to run two corrections on that last one. An especial journalistic faux pas, that — F'ing up some poor schmoe's Final Word....
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