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Cheney, Edwards & Barnett LLP
While the Ann Coulter, GougeOutTheirEyeballsWithASpoon brand of politics polls well in Peoria, a reminder that inside Loop 495 the cocktail party is considerably cozier: In preparation for Tuesday's vice presidential debate John Edwards received advice on zinging Dick Cheney from an unusual source -- Lynne Cheney's book lawyer.
Slouching in for Cheney during Edwards' rehearsal sessions was D.C. Superlawyer Robert Barnett, of the ****-with-us-and-we'll-kill-your-whole-family firm Williams & Connolly LLP. Barnett (not to be confused with Robert Bennett, a D.C. Superlawyer in his own right and brother of Bill Bennett, author of The Book of Vegas) has a history of playing palooka for Democratic contenders, doubling as the enemy for Mondale, Ferraro, the Clinton's, Lieberman, Gore. His "Joe Job" is no slouch either, Elite Publishing Attorney for the World's Most Powerful Authors, with a roster of clients including Hillary, Bill and Karen, Queen Noor, and "numerous U.S. Senators." It's a sweet life: Mornings of snapping the American Ghostwriters Union in half like a twig and coffee, afternoons of Rich Little re-runs, billing at $950 per hour, plus coffee.
In April, Barnett made the papers acting on behalf of Dick's wife, Lynne. She'd asked him to put in a call to the publisher of her 1981 novel, Sisters, asking the company to cancel plans to reissue the book. At the time political wags, including this one, speculated the reason was that the content of this all-but-forgotten book -- a florid, pulp-Western proto-feminist bodice ripper, heavy on the *a-hem* hot girl on girl action-- didn't "message well" with a campaign soon to be mass mailing fliers in West Virginia and Arkansas declaring John Kerry will make the Bible "BANNED" and same-sex marriage "ALLOWED." Such a reason would be hogswaller, o'course: "She did not think the book was her best work," Barnett explained.
It seems surprising, then, to learn that Barnett would later volunteer to road test such jibes as "A long resume does not equal good judgment" and "Mr. Vice President, you are still not being straight with the American people." And we thought: Wow. Is that ethical? I mean, can people even lawyers do that?
On the one hand, you can say its a case of a lawyer providing legal assistance to one individual in a private matter, and subsequently providing non-legal assistance to another in an unrelated public matter. But then, on the other hand, a.k.a. the "who're ya frickin' kidding hand," it's The Vice President of The United States. Even when you're only talking about his wife, it's The Vice President of The United States. Is it even possible to represent such a man, whoever he is, whoever his wife is, without it being an overtly public matter, requiring the utmost delicacy? If you're a pol, doesn't the attorney-client relationship protect disclosure of your own smarmy tricks to other pols? Really, what other proprietary software can a pol own? Is even the profane no longer sacred in America? For God sakes man: At least be an unnamed source in the New York Times....
At least, that's the way Bumperactive.com saw it. Turns out we're dead wrong. We contacted the four guys the A.B.A. press guy said were the brightest legal ethics minds in the land, Profs. Geoffrey Hazard of U. Penn Law, Charles Wolfram of Cornell Law, and Steve Gillers of NYU law great sports all for talking to this rag and to a man they had no problem with it. Lynne Cheney's lawyer coaching John Edwards on how to kick Dick Cheney's ass is kosher: "What he's doing as a [debate] stand-in isn't a conflict because he isn't acting as a lawyer, he's acting as Dick Cheney," said one. Aw, hell: They all said it.
We figured, sharks don't eat sharks, that's just lawyers looking after lawyers. So we contacted the Big Gun: Randy Cohen, The Ethicist for NPR and The Sunday New York Times Magazine. Here's what he said:
Who do you have to call for a smack-down these days? *Rolodexing down to the two-direction-state-name-state school....* Where's the nuance? The "Of course it doesn't matter, Barnett's debate coaching history was common knowledge when the Cheneys hired him -- heck, he coahed Lieberman in 2000." Countered by the "Yeah, but how come Barnett recused himself in '96 because his wife was covering the election as a reporter, but didn't recuse himself when he worked for Cheney's wife?" Parried by, "Silly fool, you're confusing legal ethics with journalism ethics!" (A move nonetheless vulnerable to the coup de gras rejoinder, "Ha!")
Hello? Is this thing on? I feel like I'm talking to myself here....
After repeated phone calls, Monica, spokesperson for Williams & Connolly, declined to comment for this article. "Oh. You're the one from the blog. We're not sayin' anything."
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